The Bare Pole
Thanksgiving Day holiday shopping, Black Friday, Cyber Monday. Is the whole sad business driving you crazy? Leaving you frustrated and saddened? Perhaps you are borderline embarassed to be an American in the twenty first century. I feel your pain. This is the type of situation that can only be fixed by a complete overhaul. Think Healthcare dot Gov. That kind of overhaul.
Therefore I suggest open proselytizing! Pledge to do your part and make certain everyone hears about Festivus, the holiday for the rest of us. Though its origins are dubious and spoofy, I believe we can take up the Festivus Pole, wave it proudly and claim its rituals as our own. So, get your family, friends, and loved ones around the dining table and let the healing begin. Rest assured, there is nothing to buy, little to remember, nothing extra to worry about. Once you’ve erected your Festivus Pole and have your family around the table, you’re half way there. The customary beginning ritual is the “Airing of Grievances”. This should come naturally. After a few drinks and some conversation about politics, the ever popular ritual “Feats of Strength” should naturally follow. Later as things mellow, everyone will enjoy reciting “Festivus Miracles”.
Buck-up Bah-Humbuggers! Let’s be clear and have no fear, Festivus is here— to stayyyyyy….