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Wednesday, December 25, 2013

This Holiday Message brought to you by your local Pasatafarians.


To my Christian brothers and sisters, the best of the season to you. I hope it finds you well and surrounded by all that you treasure.

To my fellow Pastafarians (and others on the fringe of the seemingly all-pervasive Christian model here in the good old U.S. of A.)- I know this time of year can leave you feeling a bit "left out". Don't despair weary traveller. Most of them don't intend to exclude you, it just comes with the territory of those in the dominant group. Never forget, you are also deserving and you also belong. Though I don't go for proselytizing, remember, His noodly appendage is outstretched for all. If you have need, allow yourself to be touched by His Noodliness, and know the warmth of self-reliance, the comradeship of other thoughtful travelers, and the keen sense of independence and personal power that accrues to those who stand unbowed staring face-to-face with the universe. Bend no knee in service to anything but what is right and what is true as best you are able to perceive it. 

Finally, my resolution is to cooperate with those on the other side when I can. Also, during the times when that’s not happening, I pledge to do my best to avoid fussing with them. Heck, in the end, we are stuck on this rock together.

Peace, out.

Friday, December 6, 2013

The Laugh Test and why we don't do it just for grins.


I am highly skeptical. Think of the people who are backing this idea. I mean aside from the obvious loonies. Two groups. One is the emotional families of 911 victims who want there to be something more than a single act of a few crazies. Bless their hearts, I can scarcely imagine what the must have endured and I point no finger of blame at them. However, I can easily see how some of these distraught folks might feel as though the death of their loved ones might have more “meaning” somehow if there had been a conspiracy. Also there are some architects and engineers who put forward the same conspiracy theory that people planted explosives in the buildings. I believe they also have an agenda. A subtle one. They have a dog in the fight. They hate to think the buildings they design can be brought down so easily and neatly by a handful of crazies. Worse yet that the pancake collapse was not planned. Clearly, the crazies (if they gave any thought to it at all) were hoping that, if the buildings collapsed, they would do so in the most messy way possible. One could imagine how such a neat but unplanned and unplannable outcome might rattle some of the very smart people associated with the design and erection of such stuctures.

The truth is the World Trade Center was one of the best observed and guarded buildings in the country. After the bomb attack of 1993, security was heightened and never lowered. So, the idea that multiple highly skilled people planned and executed a "stealthy demolition" of the WTC, for my money, does not pass the laugh test. It would have only required one security guard or thoughtful maintenence worker to notice and report one strange event to thwart such a scenario. Of course it would have required hundreds of actions/events to fulfill such a plan. Also, if an unnamed shadowy "they" had orchestrated such a demolition setup, unnoticed by a legion of security and maintenence personnel over a period of weeks, there would be no need for jets to ram the buildings. Theoretically, little more than a cell phone would have been needed to trigger the blast. And why would they need someone else upon whom they might lay blame? At that point, they would have, by every measure, gotten away with it. And I don’t mean the perpetrators would have escaped detection merely for that moment. They would have effectively gotten away with it forever.

Add to this the fact that people love conspiracies. Love them. Think about it. What books do we read? What movies do we watch? It is much more exciting, interesting, engaging if bad things are a result of a vast conspiracy. Especially if there is a background love story, one or more attractive and scantily clad women who figure into the whole thing. If the “hero” is a handsome, strong but vulnerable hunk, well all the better.

So, I don’t care if it is a public broadcasting station airing this drivel. I think it was a poor idea on their part even if it garnered good ratings. And, I remain a public broadcasting fan despite an occasional dip in the otherwise high level programming.


Oh, and by the way, the National Institute of Standards and Technology conducted an extensive investigation of the structural failures and concluded the buildings collapsed due to strictly prosaic reasons. Further, beyond ruling out the evil-doings of shadowy insiders, NIST was tasked with understanding the reasons for the failures in order to improve future buildings. This might lead some to infer that NIST investigators would see it as being in their own interest to do the best job possible. On the other hand, if people wish to infer that NIST was in collusion with super stealthy and nefarious group(s), who am I to say they can’t take such a position? Given the current media offerings in America, I would not be surprised to see a televised seance in which 911 victims, speaking from “beyond the veil”, reveal everything between beer and car commericals. Of course, that would leave us to sort out which of the spirits might have been in on the whole thing. Seriously, I see no reason we'd trust them just because they're dead.

Monday, December 2, 2013

The Big Bare Pole




The Bare Pole

Thanksgiving Day holiday shopping, Black Friday, Cyber Monday. Is the whole sad business driving you crazy? Leaving you frustrated and saddened? Perhaps you are borderline embarassed to be an American in the twenty first century. I feel your pain. This is the type of situation that can only be fixed by a complete overhaul. Think Healthcare dot Gov. That kind of overhaul.

Therefore I suggest open proselytizing! Pledge to do your part and make certain everyone hears about Festivus, the holiday for the rest of us. Though its origins are dubious and spoofy, I believe we can take up the Festivus Pole, wave it proudly and claim its rituals as our own. So, get your family, friends, and loved ones around the dining table and let the healing begin. Rest assured, there is nothing to buy, little to remember, nothing extra to worry about. Once you’ve erected your Festivus Pole and have your family around the table, you’re half way there. The customary beginning ritual is the “Airing of Grievances”. This should come naturally. After a few drinks and some conversation about politics, the ever popular ritual “Feats of Strength” should naturally follow. Later as things mellow, everyone will enjoy reciting “Festivus Miracles”.


Buck-up Bah-Humbuggers! Let’s be clear and have no fear, Festivus is here— to stayyyyyy….